mysoulunfolding

Livejournal? What's that again?

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 02:01:48 GMT

WOW. It's been ages since I've updated here. What was the last one, April or something? Holy shit, people probably thought I died.

I ain't dead, promise. And, because I'm turning into an organizational freak (ha!), here's a list of what I've been up to, in no particular order:

Church just had Vacation Bible School two weeks ago. I was a teacher for the 8-9 year olds this year. And I had.thirteen.kids.every.day. O.o I'm still boggled over that. They were good kids though, and I think I learned more from them than they did from me. (Honestly, who knew that a 9 year old kid would know who the Backstreet Boys were? During their heyday, she was...barely more than a twinkle in her mother's eye. Suddenly, I feel very old.)

The Navy has proposed the building of and OLF (Outlying Landing Field) in our area. Actually, the precise spot of the landing strip would be less than five miles from my house. It would also uproot several families that have been here since Jesus was a baby, and my church (my beautiful, history-rich, survived-the-civil-war, almost-200-years-old church!) would be in the buffer zone (the circumference of land the Navy would eventually expand into, if they wanted). Oh yeah, there's two family cemeteries they'd be taking over, too. *sigh*

I have finally picked up the slash writing again. I think the last time I wrote slash was... uh... *blank* Anyway, does anyone remember Touch the Sky? Well, that's what I picked up the other day and started tinkering around with. I've pretty much decided to rewrite, because to me what I have so far kind of hangs in spots, though I do like the beginning. Angsty AJ is always good, in my opinion. So yes, I'll be working on that.

OMG! Big news! I get to see my Plumsie in 12 days! In fact, 12 days from now, I'll be hanging at the hotel with her in Lancaster, PA! *does crazy happy dance of excitement* My church is taking a trip to see a play called In the Beginning, take a little tour of Amish Country, etc. We'll only be in PA for two days, and Plumsie is going to come down and stay at the same hotel so we can hang out and such. *squee*

For Mother's Day, I received this:

Meet Alexander. An Alphasmart 2000. He can't do anything but save things that I type up and send them to the computer when I hook up the cord, but that's all I want him for (he's my bitch). He goes with me everywhere (well, 'cept the shower), and never complains when I forget to make tea, whines when it's time to go to bed, or grumbles when he's in the mood and I'm not... Okay, I think I just weirded myself out.

I'm really considering writing a Justin het story. I mean, most of what I've come across in my story searches have either been boring, clichéd, unfinished, or so horribly written that I could barely make it through a chapter. And, by story, I'm talking one of those long ones that goes on for a whole bunch of chapters and covers many years...Epic is what I'm talking about, I guess? Of course, I know me. I'd get maybe three chapters done, lose interest, then pfffft. God, I hate being like that. Why can't I stick to a story?!

I'm really, really, really liking the new ads that Justin did for Givenchy. In fact, as soon as I finish this post, I think I'll go icon some. My icon space is sadly unused.

I'm also really digging this song. I so need to d/l the rest of the songs from Justified. Anyone happen to have any? *bats eyelashes hopefully*

In case no one can tell, I'm in a Justin mood. Damn. Because, despite how some may have tried to sway me, I do not like him. I swear. *cough*

That's about all I can think of that's interesting at the moment. The kids are doing good; Kevin's gearing up for Kindergarten and Katie's already got her book bag packed for her first day of HeadStart. The hubby's still working full time--OH! He's a great uncle now! His oldest nephew (Justin. Seriously, that's his name. He also has a nephew named Alex. *smirk*) and his wife Christi had a baby girl last month. They named her Alexis and call her Lexi. But yes, my hubby's a great uncle. Which means my mother-in-law is a great-grandmother. And her mother is a great-great-grandmother. Awesome shit, man.

That's it. I'll post soon, promise!

♥

Untitled Crack Fic 1/?

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 15:57:30 GMT

Because trumpeterofdoom posted this at the precise moment I wanted to write something silly. So yeah, blame her.

Short for now, but I will post more parts as I write them.

Completely un-beta'd, so any glaring spelling/grammar mistakes you see are all my fault.

From Nick's point of view. Y'know, in case it wasn't obvious.

The last thing he remembered was falling onto the bed; skin shining with sweat, breath coming in short gasps from his recent exertion. There had been another body - rather, several bodies - around him, each murmuring something along the lines of how they needed sleep. Sleep, he had decided, was a wonderful idea. And, with AJ's fingernails lightly scraping his arm and Brian's head on his chest, he had quickly given in to the void of sleep.

There had been a bed. Of that he was sure. It had been a large, fluffy bed, covered with pillows and a thick, warm duvet. There had been windows, the sounds of city traffic muted completely as they had enjoyed each other. There had been the aroma of their leftover dinner.

Above all else, there had been silence in those last moments of coherence. Not even the room's air conditioner had dared make a noise.

The first thing he became aware of was a muffled noise. He couldn't quite place it at first, and finally decided that there was a traffic jam nearby because it sounded like a horn. He rolled over, reaching to hold onto the body closest to his. Though, when he felt nothing but a hard rock, he jerked up.

"What the fuck?" he blurted, cringing when all that came out was a loud series of honking noises. Immediately his hands went to his mouth. But there was one little problem.

He no longer had hands.

For that matter, he no longer had a mouth. Instead, there was a beak. Where his arms had once been there were now elongated wings of a mottled brown, flapping uselessly as he stood on the rock. Confused, he looked down, shrieking upon the sight of large webbed feet. Webbed feet that protruded from a goose's body.

Just fucking great, he decided with a petulant sigh. Now what?

Again, it's JM's fault. *hides*

For Sammie. Because she begged

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:58:18 GMT

An AJ/Howie ficlet to get her through some sort of paper she was writing. I told her she could have the ending when she said she's finished ~~even though I think she's lying~~ so here it is :)

"It's watching me," Howie mumbled against AJ's neck, glancing over his lover's shoulder to see the reflective eyes glowing in the near darkness. Closing his own eyes at the feel of fingernails lightly scraping his sides, he arched into the other man, moaning softly when damp lips sucked at his shoulder.

"It's my protective talisman," AJ rasped, not caring about Howie's sensitive nature when it came to sex. If he had his way, they would be buried beneath several blankets in a darkened room with only their senses of sight, touch and sound to guide them. Not that AJ minded that, once in a while. He preferred to see his lover's reactions to his touches and kisses... "A fan gave it to me..."

"What if they had given you a giant golden dildo?" Howie questioned honestly.

AJ smirked. "I'd be lubing it up to use on you."

"Alexander--"

"You know I love you, babe," AJ crooned, dipping his tongue into the hollow of Howie's collarbone. Hearing the pleased sigh, he glanced up to see the tension easing from the man's face. Eyes slowly closing. Smirking with satisfaction, he moved his tongue lower, tasting the sweet essence of the man's skin. When he toyed with one peaked nipple, he felt the body begin to tense once more. Certain it was from excitement, he reached to remove his jeans, cursing vividly when he was pushed to the side.

"Cover that thing up," Howie insisted.

"You told me that you wanted to fucking-Oh!" AJ breathed in realization. Glancing over his shoulder, he grinned upon seeing the familiar glowing eyes. "Don't you like having an audience?"

"If I liked having an audience, we'd still be at Nick's... Please?"

AJ sighed, leaning across the bed to retrieve the small statue. Running his fingers lovingly over the painted porcelain, he offered Howie a small pout. "It's not like it can really see, you know... If it could, I'd have a secret camera in it so I can catch all your beautiful fucking faces--"

"Alexander--"

"Of course, I'd need some mics to go with it so I could catch all those good sounds you make too--"

"Alexander James--"

"Too bad they haven't invented some sort of virtual reality recorder so you can get the bumps and shakes," AJ lamented, yelping when the statue was yanked from his hands. He watched in horror as it was tossed towards the floor, clattering noisily before it rolled beneath the dresser. "Goddamn, Howie--"

Howie's hand slipped beneath the loosened waistband of AJ's jeans, wasting no time in closing around the hardened length of his cock. Leaning up, he caught AJ's lips in a sultry kiss, pulling his lover down over him. "Forget the fucking owl and fuck me, okay?"

"Can we look into finding one of those recorders?" AJ requested with a blissful sigh as his jeans were pushed away.

"Sure," Howie agreed, biting down gently on AJ's tongue before rolling him to his back.

AJ laid his head back, hoping his panting wasn't too obvious when warm lips trailed over his abdomen. Hand flopping across the pillows, he arched against the the open mouth, grasping what he was searching for as his cock was enveloped in wet heat. Growling against a whimper, he hurriedly pushed the button on the remote before pushing it aside, taking only a second to make sure the eyes were glowing red before losing himself in Howie's touch.

Okay, So.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 04:23:44 GMT

sweet_sugarplum has written the most adorable ficlet here. It's Arok. It's adorable and funny and teh hotness, so everyone must go read it now. :)

That's all.

Question for the fic writers -- and readers -- on my list

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 12:56:25 GMT

Okay, I have a general idea, but...

What does canon actually mean?

In my mind, it means that real events and chronological things happen in the fic. Say I was writing a Millennium-era Backstreet fic about Kevin/Nick. If I were to include the fact that Kevin was engaged to Kristin, that would be considered canon, right?

So, if I were writing a pre-Never Gone fic about AJ/Brian. If I excluded the fact that Brian was married and Baylee existed, but included post-rehab details about AJ, would it be considered canon or not? Can a story be considered canon if it includes mentions of actual events and appearances but ignores other things that go on in the Boys' actual lives?

*is confused*

I ask this because I have a story in mind that takes place around Black & Blue. I want to include a bit of drug and alcohol abuse, but not with AJ. So as I wrote down my notes, I was adding actual events (thanks to the fabulous Backstreet Chronology), and then the "We Win at Canon!" icon popped into my head.

*is beyond confused*

fic : Looking At Your Damn Shoes (part two)

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 15:03:06 GMT

Title: Looking At Your Damn Shoes -- Part Two
Pairing: AJ/Nick
Summary: The continuing story of two screwballs who are perfect for each other, but would be damned to admit it to anyone.
Dedication: to inahurricane because, quote, "There is not enough AJ/Nick in the world!"
Warnings: Language, masturbation, voyeurism. Among other things. *cough*
Word Count: 3,154 double Dude!
Part One can be read here

Again, I was thinking this would be short. A quick pwp, to satisfy ~~myself~~ the readers of part one. But, no, they took over again, and, well, here's the result. Enjoy ♥

Nick leaned against the wall, his mind a blur as he heard the shower door close. He had never realized how thin AJ's walls were. No wonder AJ had given him such funny looks whenever he came out, he had probably heard every detail all the times he had escaped to jack off.

Would AJ kill him if he snuck in for a peek?

Undoubtedly. Though the mental image of a soaking wet and naked AJ chasing after him caused his pulse to quicken, he knew it wouldn't be towards the nearest bed. And Nick had no desire to have AJ chase him through the streets of Malibu, especially considering the indecent exposure laws.

Groaning, he pushed himself from the wall, deciding it was time to go outside and think of everything but AJ taking a shower.

Standing on the deck, he realized he could hear the hum of the shower, hating the fact the small window of the bathroom was just inches from his head. AJ usually left it open a few inches to help the moisture escape, but Nick had never thought about that until he heard the familiar voice murmuring. Sidestepping, he tilted his head closer to the window, biting his lip when he heard the sound of soapy hands gliding over wet skin.

A quick glance around assured him that nobody could really see him on the deck. Unless the people next door were camped out in their attic with binoculars, which he doubted. Straightening, he glanced through the window, biting his lip he saw AJ's hand pressed against the shower door. His head was lowered, the water sluicing over his body, and Nick praised whoever had installed the clear glass door when he saw AJ was gently working his other hand up and down his dick.

He had, of course, inconspicuously watched AJ relieving his own pressure. True, that had been years ago, in the days of shared rooms and no privacy when they were both too full of hormones to care that there was another person in the next bed who could hear everything. Nick could vividly remember being ensconced in blankets, peering across a dim hotel room towards AJ's bed, hard and hot and breathless as AJ fucked his own fist. AJ had never been one to hide his masturbation, and had never hidden himself beneath covers. There had always been something so erotic about watching, and Nick could still hear the throaty cries, the low growls, the way AJ's eyes glazed over as he came. Often, Nick would end up having a silent orgasm just by watching, and many times he darted from the bed to clean himself as soon as AJ went to sleep.

Now, though, it was different. They were older, supposedly more mature, than they had been then. There was something sordid about watching one of your best friends jacking off in the shower, and perhaps if he hadn't been so turned on already Nick would have stopped looking. Instead, he was riveted, barely breathing as AJ's low murmurs increased in volume.

"Fuck, Nick..."

Holy fuck, AJ was thinking about him. The knowledge made Nick's knees weaken, and he grew harder when AJ turned slightly, reaching for a bottle on the shelf behind him. Inked fingers paused in their pumping as liquid soap was squeezed along the length of his dick. The bottle clattered to the shower floor, and Nick grew dizzy at the speed with which AJ's hand began to move. He moved closer to the window, lips parted and mouth going dry when AJ growled something about his tongue.

AJ was fantasizing about his tongue on his dick.

Pushing away from the window, Nick somehow managed to propel himself through the door, tugging at his t-shirt and kicking off his shoes as he went through the kitchen and down the hall. Pausing outside the bathroom door to normalize his breathing, he whined when the water turned off. Surely AJ hadn't finished that quick?

Hand trembling, he reached for the doorknob, but his hand remained in midair when AJ flung the door open. Dripping wet and soap bubbles still clinging to his leg, dick hard and eyes dark with wanting, he met Nick's eyes.

"You knew," Nick whispered, arousal and anger making his fingers curl into a fist. "You knew I could hear every damn thing, knew I'd be watching you, and you're--"

"Hard as fuck and needing you," AJ finished, catching Nick's wrist in his hand and pulling him down the hall. "C'mon."

Not a request for Nick to follow. Just c'mon. No explanation of the exhibitionism in the shower. Just a soft, rasped utterance that had Nick eagerly following him into the bedroom. His hands shook when he heard the door shut behind them, and his body trembled when AJ's hand slid up his arm.

"I'm fucking tired of pretending, Carter. I'm tired of acting like I don't give a damn what you do or who you do it with." AJ's voice was shaky, and when Nick realized it, he was being pulled onto the bed. "I'm sick of waking up in the middle of the night rock hard and horny and wanting to feel you next to me. I'm sick and tired of all this childish bullshit, Carter, because we're both adults and we both want this and I'll be goddamned if I let you leave without taking care of this."

With that last hissed word, Nick felt AJ's hand between them, fingers rubbing and palm pressing as warm lips descended over his. Mumbling incoherently, he tangled his fingers in dripping locks, his tongue probing for a taste. A hint of toothpaste, iced tea, the cigarettes that AJ loved so dearly. Curses that he was wearing too many damn clothes were swallowed with their kiss, and when AJ shifted, easily unbuttoning his jeans, Nick knew.

For once not caring about his preconceived notions of his body's imperfections, he instead reveled in the rough palms that slid over his torso. He gasped at the teeth that nipped his skin, and when his jeans fell away he felt proud when AJ moaned appreciatively. Tattooed fingers wrapped around his cock, pumping it in a rhythm that he knew would cause him to die with wanting.

"I tried so hard to get you out of my system," AJ whispered, straddling his thighs as he continued to pump his hand up and down. His breath was hot against Nick's cheek, and Nick closed his eyes, focusing on the moment. He could feel every place their bodies touched, his fingers trailing down AJ's back.

"Couldn't you?" he asked softly.

"Fuck no," AJ growled, fingers squeezing.

"How come?" AJ was hard against his palm, dick twitching when Nick hesitated. A soft gasp when he traced the length with his finger.

"Because I want you. I want your hand doing that." He moved slightly, giving Nick better access. Their hands were moving together. "I want you," he repeated softly, lips gentle against Nick's.

"I want you too."

AJ's hand paused, and when he leaned back to look into his eyes Nick was afraid he had done something wrong, had said the wrong thing. His mind quickly calculated the time it would take him to dress and walk home. But, AJ smiled slightly, leaning forward once more to trace his tongue over Nick's lips. "I want this," he hissed, tugging hard on the dick he held, "inside me."

Nick nodded. AJ could have asked for his heart on a plate and he would gladly have given it up. Anything. Anything to keep the gleam in AJ's dark brown eyes. Anything that would keep the half-smile on his lips. "Yes," he whispered, thumb tracing the vein that throbbed beneath his touch.

"I don't want you to stand in my bathroom and jerk off anymore," AJ continued, tongue darting over his cheek before he dipped his head to softly kiss his shoulder. "I don't want to stand in my kitchen smoking a cigarette and have to picture you doing that."

"Okay," Nick agreed, arching his back when hot lips closed over his nipple.

"If you're here and you're horny, just tell me, I'll take care of you."

"God, yes," Nick hissed, certain he would come on AJ's wrist if he kept going.

"I want you to come inside me."

Eyes rolling back in his head, Nick released a whimper, letting AJ push his hand away as his mouth moved lower on his body. The hand on his dick stopped, the rasp of a beard over his hip causing him to lift his hips from the bed expectantly. AJ's soft murmur of encouragement, hot breath against his skin, and then-- "Fuck," he cried out, fingers clutching at the bed as AJ's mouth closed around him.

He had fantasized about this moment for years. Had imagined how it would feel. He had known it would be the best fucking feeling in the world, but he had never imagined that AJ's tongue could do so many amazing things in such a short time. The combination of his tongue, his lips, and, ohfuckyes, his throat, taking him all the way in, lightly sucking and caressing, hands splayed on his thighs. There was a low moan that died in AJ's throat, sending tremors down his dick and through his body, and Nick was certain he would die from the pleasure.

The sight of him, damp hair mussed and eyes open to watch him, the smell of sex and soap filling the room, glimpse of teeth each time he drew back. The steady pulse of AJ's heart against his leg, the slow, undulating movement of his hips, all converged into a moment he knew he would never forget. His heart rate was climbing by leaps and bounds, his fingers digging into the sheet beneath him, and he heard a panicked, high-pitched voice begging AJ to make him come, not recognizing it as himself.

His entire body shuddered when the heat left him, then AJ's mouth was kissing up his body, nails scraping lightly at his skin. A hard dick pressing against his own, rubbing sensuously. AJ's voice, thick with need, whispering against his mouth, "Nick, fuck me."

How he managed to move, he had no idea. Their bodies tangled and rolled on the bed, lips crashing and tongues dancing. Something was pressed into his hand, hard and cold, then he was leaning back, watching AJ roll to his stomach. Dark eyes regarded him over a tattooed shoulder, and he knew he looked like an idiot when he heard the rumble of AJ's laughter. "AJ--"

"Have you done this before?"

"Yes... Maybe... Well, not with a guy," Nick admitted, licking his dry lips as he rolled the bottle between his palms. He wanted to do everything right, wanted to make sure that AJ was well-pleased. The last thing in the world he wanted was for AJ to realize he needed someone better.

"Lube, fingers, lube, lube your dick," AJ murmured. Nick knew he must have looked concerned when AJ sat up, taking the bottle. "Like this," he whispered softly, lips dancing over Nick's fingers before squeezing a generous amount of the lube there. Then, kneeling on the bed, he reached back, taking Nick's hand and guiding it to his ass.

Nick bit his lip as his fingers delved the cleft, a bead of sweat rolling down his back as AJ leaned back against him. Teasing, his finger pressed against the opening, struggling to remember how he had accomplished anal sex with a woman. Cursing himself for even thinking of his previous sexual activities while the person he loved more than anyone in the world was moaning softly in front of him, he pushed his finger inside, pausing when AJ tensed. "Does it hurt?" he asked, concerned at the tight sigh that hissed from AJ's lips.

"God no," AJ moaned. "Keep going."

Swallowing nervously, Nick eased another slick finger in to join the first, slowly pumping them in a gentle motion. He kept his eyes on AJ's face, but AJ's eyes were closed, fingers curled into the pillow beneath his head. When he relaxed, Nick increased his speed, lurching in surprise when AJ cried out. He saw the shiver go down his back, felt the muscles clutch his fingers, and when he moved them again AJ whimpered with longing.

"Fuck, Nick... C'mon, I need you," he rasped.

More than happy to oblige, Nick withdrew his fingers, fumbling with the lube. AJ's hand reached back again, helping Nick apply the lube to his dick. Nick moaned when AJ tugged impatiently, then his hand was gone, his legs were shifting as Nick moved closer. Pressing the tip against the puckered opening, he reached to hold onto AJ's hip, not sure if it was to steady himself or the other man. Biting down on his bottom lip, he pushed the tip of his dick inside, fingers digging into AJ's hip when the man jumped.

"Motherfucker," AJ gasped. His eyes were wide open, lips parted, one hand punching the mattress. "Go slow. Your dick is bigger than I'm used to, just... Go slower."

His voice was shaky, Nick could feel him trembling. "Sorry," he whispered, gently running his hand over AJ's back, pausing to trace each tattoo with his finger. When his heart began beating at a slower pace, and AJ was no longer shaking, he slid in further, whimpering at the tightness of the space. AJ leaned back, urging him along.

"Oh God," AJ moaned once Nick's dick was all the way in. Tight muscles clenched the throbbing length, and Nick knew there was no way he could be expected to do anything more. His entire body was trembling with the need to come, he could feel his balls tightening. Each time AJ said something it seemed to reverberate throughout his body, sending slivers of excitement down Nick's spine. Then, AJ was moving, rocking against him. "Nick, fuck me."

Slowly, he began to move, drawing back just a couple of inches before pushing back inside. With each thrust AJ trembled, and several times Nick heard a high-pitched whine. Thinking he had hurt him, he was prepared to stop, but AJ would lean back onto him, and Nick realized that he had to keep going. Hands on AJ's back, he gently tilted his ass up, wanting to go deeper. AJ's raspy voice urged him to go faster, harder, and when Nick arched his back to do so, he felt the muscles tighten, heard AJ's cry of delight, saw the black fingernails ripping at the pillowcase. His hand slid down, fingers wrapping around AJ's dick and stroking gently, and when he thrust again he felt the dick throb against his hand.

"So fucking close," AJ told him. His voice had taken on a high-pitched panic to it, his body was writhing beneath Nick.

"Aje," Nick whimpered, leaning over his back. His lips found AJ's neck, tongue flicking and lips sucking as he matched the strokes of his hands to the thrust of his dick. He forced his own orgasm back, wanting to make the moments last longer. Needing to fulfill AJ's pleasure first. "C'mon, baby..."

He shifted, wrapping one leg around AJ's, needing to be closer. His arm curled around the thin waist, and he felt a shaking hand close over his, guiding his fingers up and down, faster. Then he was screaming, entire body shaking and then going tense, and Nick felt the come on his fingers. He heard AJ's name shrieked from his lungs as he closed his eyes, burying himself as deep with AJ as he could, and his eyes exploded with blinding lights.

---

He was sprawled in the middle of AJ's bed, lazily watching the smoke that came from AJ's cigarette curl towards the ceiling. His entire body felt as though it was made of lead, and he knew if a meteor came hurtling towards the house he would never make it out of the bed before it crashed into a ball of fire. AJ was tucked to his side, warm and soft beneath the blankets, silent as he smoked.

An inked arm reached across him to dispose of the cigarette butt, a puff of smoke escaped AJ's lips, then the blankets were drawn further up, shielding them from the late afternoon sun. He had expected to be told to dress and then taken home, but AJ had mentioned nothing about his leaving. The only words they had spoken in the last hour had been murmured agreements that what had just happened could only be described as the best fucking sex in fucking history, a sentiment that had caused them both to chuckle.

Soft kisses, hands caressing warm skin. The sound of AJ's dogs in the kitchen, lapping at the water in the bowl. The steady hum of the air conditioner, the seeming icy cold air whenever the blankets were pulled from over his head. Turning to his side, he regarded AJ in the dim light beneath the blankets, lightly tracing a circle with his finger along AJ's arm.

AJ sighed, stretching slightly before curling closer. Nick was ready to lose himself in sleep, and they both groaned when the phone began to ring.

"You need to tell your friend to quit calling me," AJ mumbled sleepily. One hand reached out from their cocoon of warmth, and Nick gasped when he felt the hard cold plastic of the phone being pushed towards him a moment later.

"I ain't telling him!" he exclaimed, pushing the phone back at AJ. "It's your house, you tell him!"

"I ain't telling him shit," AJ argued. "He'll know just by hearing me answer the phone that I've just finished having sex, and he'll but two and two together, and then he'll start bitching at me--"

"He won't start bitching. He's known I wanted you for years--"

"Then you need to tell him!"

"Bullshit!"

---

Brow creased with concern, Brian was about to hang up when the phone clicked. There was a scuffling, muttered curses, and he was certain he heard the smacking sound of lips against flesh.

"He's your best friend, Nick, you can tell him! He'll understand!" AJ was saying. "Just tell him--Hi, Brian, I just finished fucking the hell out of AJ, and he's too weak to even move--"

"How about you tell him that? Tell him your ass was so good it's all I can do to breathe!" Nick interrupted.

"Fuck no! I ain't telling Bible Boy Brian shit like that! He might put some Christian voodoo hex on me! And he's blessed, God would do it for him! I'll wake up tomorrow and my dick will be as limp as a dishrag!"

Cupping a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter, Brian quickly placed the phone on its base before he began to cackle.

~fin~

(I think)

fic : Looking At Your Damn Shoes

Mon, 14 Jan 2008 16:38:40 GMT

Title: Looking At Your Damn Shoes
Pairing: AJ/Nick
Summary: Nick realizes the one he views as perfection actually prefers imperfection
Dedication: to inahurricane because, quote, "There is not enough AJ/Nick in the world!"
Warnings: Language, unfulfilled masturbation
Word Count: 2,563 Dude

I started this in a notebook this morning while waiting for the bus with my son. I was thinking it would be just a few paragraphs, no more than 1000 words at most. I came back into the house and sat down to type up what I had written, thinking I'd post it and then crawl back into bed for another hour or two. But, no, these two characters had to just drag the story out and make it impossible for me to go back to sleep, and here I am posting this more than three hours after originally starting.. What I had thought would be simply a tiny ficlet has turned instead to this, and, well, let's just say I'll be writing more of these two in the future. ...damn them...

AJ was, simply, perfect. When his lips parted to speak lines from a Shakespearean play, or to sing a verse from a new song, his voice immediately took hold of the proper pitch, bringing forth the proper emotion. When he sat before a piano, sheet music ready, his fingers would begin with a spine-tingling glissando before launching into the piece with no mistakes. When shown a new dance move, he was able to do it within moments, more often than not better than the choreographer. The first time he had made dinner for the other guys, after moving into his own place, they had arrived to find him lighting candles on the table, and he had served a homemade lasagne that would have made an Italian cry tears of joy.

Nick readily admitted to the fact he had searched the kitchen for any sign of an outside food source, but all he had found was a sink full of dishes, an ashtray full of cigarette butts, and, on the refrigerator, a sauce-stained recipe for homemade lasagne, written in AJ's scrawl. He had even called Denise the next day, graciously listening to her words of advice before asking if she had helped AJ fix dinner, hoping she would let some sort of secret slide. Instead, she had informed him that she had been out of town until the middle of the night, so how could she have helped him?

Nick sure as hell didn't know. But he was certain that AJ couldn't have pulled off the entire meal with no outside help. This was the man who had caused the alarm that brought the entire fire department of Cologne, Germany to their hotel, simply because he had tried to make toast with an iron. After buying his new house and dragging Nick and Howie along on a shopping spree to fill his house with necessities, AJ had told them he didn't know how to do anything in the kitchen except make coffee and have sex.

Nick had, naturally, asked for tips on how to accomplish sex in the kitchen. Because, what if you forgot to move a knife off the counter and you ended up slicing off something important? Or, worse, what if you had water on the stove boiling for whatever reason and, in the heat of the moment, knocked it over onto your partner?

AJ had simply laughed at him, told him he would figure all that out on his own, and pulled them into a shop to buy bed linens.

Nick still hadn't had sex in a kitchen.

---

He was blatantly aware of his own shortcomings. He could sing, yes, but he always felt his voice was nothing like what it had once been. He could dance, as long as he had several hours of rehearsal, doubled with one-on-one coaching from the choreographer. He had learned how to play the piano, the drums, and the guitar, but it usually took several drinks before he was comfortable enough with his talent to actually play. When it came to women, he was perhaps the most bumbling man on the planet. And he would rather forget his few attempts at cooking, even if the scorched wall behind his stove reminded him daily.

He prided himself that he was a good friend, that whenever someone needed him or something he could provide he was quick to respond. Be it a companionable silence and a beer after a breakup, or a few cans of chicken noodle soup during a cold, he tried his best to make his friends and loved ones comfortable. Of course, if they were sick and requested soup, he usually banged on the door and left the bag of cans on the steps, because how could he take care of them if he got sick, too?

He noticed, though, that AJ never called him for a beer or soup. When he did call, it was to remind him about something Kevin had just finished telling him about, or to say that he'd be swinging that way if he needed a ride.

Nick always accepted the rides with AJ. There was something comfortable about AJ's car. It wasn't cleaner than it had been in the showroom, like Howie's. There wasn't a backseat full of kids' toys and a baby seat, like Brian's. He wasn't expected to suffer through some wailing song by Dolly Parton, like he always did when riding with Kevin. Instead, there was usually some hard rock, and the ashtray always rattled with loose change. Whenever he went to get in, he had to wait for AJ to clear out the passenger seat, tossing napkins into the glove box, tucking cigarettes, lighter and a Starbucks cup between his thighs as his raspy voice cursed the mess of his car.

Nick found himself looking forward to riding with AJ.

---

They were heading for the studio to meet Howie and Brian. Howie had called them all at three in the morning, using some sort of new conference-call gadget he had bought. He hadn't meant to actually wake them, he was merely trying out the new system, but, since he had them all, could they meet him at the studio so they could go over the vocals on one of the new songs? AJ had mumbled something about blocking calls from Howie before hanging up, Brian had been too busy apologizing to Leighanne to say anything but sure, and Nick was too sleepy and confused to offer a coherent answer. So it had been a surprise when AJ's horn had roused him from a deep sleep four hours later, even more of a surprise when AJ himself had come into his house, upstairs and into his bedroom, to force him out of bed.

Amid the clean clothes that were being thrown his way, Nick smiled.

He was holding onto AJ's cigarettes and lighter, and between his knees was the precious Starbucks cup that AJ had handed over to him when he'd gotten in. He had smiled again, because usually AJ forgot to get him coffee, unless he happened to call while he was in line to get his own and Nick requested some. His hair was a mess, he knew, because AJ hadn't given him time to shower, and when he reached to scratch his chin he realized it was past time to shave. He mumbled something about doing so, and to his surprise AJ hit the brakes.

As he fumbled to keep his coffee from spilling, he heard AJ mutter, "I like your fuzz."

"Huh?" Nick secured his hold on the coffee before looking to the other man.

"What?" AJ's face was pure innocence.

"You like my fuzz?"

"Well, yeah..."

Nick couldn't help his grin. "Yeah? What if I shave?"

"Then, fucking-duh, I'll be mad."

Nick's grin widened. "I wasn't aware that your state of happiness relied on my facial hair--"

"Oh, cut the fucking crap. Shave, don't shave, see if I care!"

"But, I don't want you to be mad," Nick admitted, not liking the way his heart hammered at the thought of upsetting AJ. "Do you think I should leave it like this?"

"I think your legions of adoring fans might miss the clean-shaved pretty boy look," AJ muttered. "But, yeah, I like it like that. Makes you look rougher, y'know?"

They were sitting in the studio parking lot now. Nick saw Howie's car, and Brian was going through the door when he glanced at the building. Turning to face AJ, he regarded his friend curiously. "I thought you liked my clean-shaven baby face."

"I do," AJ sighed, taking his cigarettes and lighter. Cracking his window, he lit up, and Nick noticed that he was looking everywhere but the passenger seat. "Look, Nick--"

"God."

"I told you years ago that--"

"My God."

"I can't help that I--"

"You like me?" Nick asked, hating how his voice squeaked. Hating the fact he sounded so damned hopeful.

"Of course I like you. If I didn't like you, I would have told you so years ago. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't have come by your place to pick you up all these years--"

"I don't mean like me as a friend, J. I mean, like me like me," Nick interrupted, watching AJ's pursed lips.

"Jesus Christ, Nick," AJ groaned. "Forget I said anything."

Before he could think of words that would make AJ stay and talk to him, he was climbing out, slamming the door with a finality that not only shook the car but also Nick's heart.

---

After listening to the vocals they had recorded the day before, it was decided they would all go back to Brian's for lunch. Possibly because his house was closest to the studio, but everyone knew it was because Leighanne was a good cook. When AJ left without a word, Nick glanced towards Brian.

"Alright if I ride with you?"

"Sure. I thought you rode up with AJ--"

"He, uh..."

Blessedly, Howie interrupted with a copy of a press release for them to read, and Nick was able to slip outside without explaining to Brian why he couldn't ride with AJ. He couldn't very well tell his best friend that AJ had admitted to liking him, nor could he tell how he had undoubtedly fucked up what potentially could have been a good relationship. Especially when he considered that Brian knew about his secret crush for AJ. Brian knew things like that and didn't care. He would just smile and wish Nick good luck then go about his business. Which was why Nick confided such things without worry.

"Are you going to stand there looking at your damn shoes all fucking day, or are you getting into the car?"

Jolted, Nick looked up to see AJ leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette as though scientists had announced tobacco smoke led to immortality. Fumbling for something to say, he watched moist lips clench the filter, saw the muscles of AJ's cheek suck inward as the tip of the cigarette flared. He was certain his heart stopped when AJ's eyes met his, and the very tip of AJ's tongue dashed across his lips. Realizing he was waiting for an answer, Nick shrugged, his feet somehow propelled him towards the car, though he didn't go the passenger side. Instead, he moved to stand in front of AJ, mind still struggling to come up with words. Even 'yeah' would have worked, but for some reason his mouth refused to cooperate.

AJ sighed, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "Look, Carter, just get in the car, okay?"

Miraculously, Nick's brain formed words, and his mouth opened to speak them. "I like you, too."

---

AJ's phone was ringing. Nick's cell had started ringing an hour before, but he had popped out the battery when he saw it was Brian. Sitting at AJ's table, he watched as AJ tossed salad ingredients together in a bowl. He had offered to help, but after mangling a sharp knife in the garbage disposal, AJ had asked him to just sit down, he'd take care of everything. AJ didn't seem perturbed by the ringing phone, so Nick tried to keep his mind off the number of rings. It was obvious that Brian knew where they were, otherwise he would have hung up forty-five rings ago. Nick wondered if the man had installed some sort of homing device on AJ's car.

The ringing stopped.

"Think you can fix us some drinks without wrecking my ice maker?" AJ asked softly, donning an oven mitt so he could check on the chicken casserole.

"Yeah, I can fix drinks." Scraping his chair back, Nick felt his stomach churn hungrily when the aroma of the casserole reached him. He had been surprised when AJ asked him to come back to his place for lunch so they could talk, positively shocked when AJ mentioned having a casserole in the freezer. Since coming out of rehab, the man had turned into an amateur chef, and with a wry grin had admitted that when he had a rough night he got out of bed and threw together meals that he could pop into the oven at a later date. It had hurt to think of AJ still having rough days after so many years, but he had decided not to dwell on the subject. At least AJ had an outlet, and Nick was certain the man currently pulling out a bubbling casserole would never backtrack to the beast he had once been.

"There's some tea in the fridge."

Nodding, Nick filled two glasses with ice, carrying them to the table before returning for the pitcher of tea. He shivered when AJ brushed past to place the salad on the table, briefly placing his hand over the place on his arm that AJ's body had touched.

They ate in companionable silence, occasionally murmuring something about how good the chicken was. Nick attempted to focus on his food, but his eyes were drawn, as they always had been, to the sensual way AJ forked food into his mouth. Embarrassed by the way his body reacted, he excused himself as soon as his plate was empty, quickly moving to the bathroom in order to gather his wits.

"Christ," he groaned, leaning against the door. His knees were weak, and he could feel his jeans growing tight against his crotch. He berated himself for behaving like a hormone-driven teenager, even as his hand reached to unbutton his fly. It wasn't as though he hadn't jacked off in AJ's house before. He couldn't remember how many times he had slipped into the downstairs bathroom, hands fumbling and knowing AJ would burst in at any minute, focusing only on the need to come and come fast. Left hand reaching to switch on the ventilation fan, he held his breath when he heard AJ's voice, from the hallway.

"Nick, I need the shower."

"O-okay," Nick answered, bracing his hand against the door in case AJ decided to fling it open.

"Like, now?" AJ said after a moment. "The tub upstairs is messed up, the water won't drain properly. A plumber's coming to look at it tomorrow, so until he fixes it I'm stuck using this bathroom--"

"Gimme a minute," Nick managed to mutter. Wincing as he eased his zipper back up, he shuffled over to flush the toilet. Switching off the fan, he flung the door open, surprised to find AJ standing directly in front of him.

"I'll be out in a few minutes," AJ promised as he slipped past. Nick was certain his eyes roved down to see the bulge in his jeans, and if he'd had the proper blood flow to his brain he would have seen the gleam of appreciation in AJ's dark brown eyes before he was nudged out into the hallway and the door clicked shut.

"Goddamnit," Nick hissed, suddenly regretting that he had accepted AJ's invitation to lunch. He could be comfortably sprawled on Brian's couch, watching Baylee play with his trains while Thomas the Tank Engine droned on the TV, full and sleepy after a big lunch. Instead, he was standing in AJ's hallway with a full-on erection, mind filled with images of the nude man currently getting into the shower.

Just as the water started to run, the phone began ringing again.

To my 'NSYNC friends...

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 00:00:47 GMT

*thinks she has a couple*

Is anyone interested in a bunch of photocards or a tour book? My mom was cleaning out some old stuff and brought me a box that has a big stack of photo cards by Panini, and tour book from...I don't know what tour, honestly. I'm assuming it's one of the earlier ones, judging from the pictures? It has a © 1998 in the back, so... *is clueless when it comes to NSYNC*

Also!

turloughishere, you do like 98 Degrees, right? I have a bunch of photo cards of them from Panini as well. I think I have one or two packs of cards that were never opened. If you're interested, let me know.

If anyone's interested in any of the above (turlough has first dibs on the 98 degrees stuff, though!), drop me a comment. I've already pulled out the few cards that I wanted from the stacks, but to be honest, I'm not interested in the tour book. Again, let me know, and if you need more info (I can scan some of the cards for reference... I have some of the card wrappers too *facepalm*), just let me know. :)

is beyond crazy

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 22:22:17 GMT

First, there was bsb366

Then, boomingvoice created nick366

So, here:

aj366

^{Shit, now I have to come up with four more posts so I can catch up.}

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:32:48 GMT

For those Americans on my flist:

Happy Thanksgiving!

And, for those non-Americans on my flist:

Happy Thursday!

I have two 20 pound turkeys cooked, rested, and now waiting in the refrigerator to be warmed up just before everyone gets here for supper. I have 2 gallons of fresh collards prepared, waiting to be warmed up also. I have tracked down every mote of dust in the house and shooed it out; every piece of clothing has been washed, dried, folded and put away; the less-friendly cats have been demoted to my bedroom for the day; the friendly cats (Puss, and Boots, lol) have been bathed and are now sporting their new Thanksgiving collars.

Kids stayed at Mom's last night. Christal (my niece) was over there and they begged to go. Which gives me time to get everything set up without the help of tiny hands. Though, Katie did cook the collards, literally. She rinsed them, she washed them, she cut them (with her little safety scissors), she added water, ham and spices to the pot (with me measuring it all out), she stirred in the collards, she checked on them every time the timer went off. And, when I told my mother-in-law that I had the collards ready, she announced loudly, "MAMA! I DID THE COLLARDS!" Heh.

So far I have fifteen words down for my MTYG assignment. Go me. *snort* Hopefully tomorrow I can work on it. The kids are spending the weekend with my brother and his family, and the hubby has to work half a day tomorrow, so I'm looking forward to a big pot of coffee and my computer. I also have tons of flist catchup to do, meh.

*hugs all*

Dear Santa

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 00:07:00 GMT

I've been a very good girl this year. I ate all my vegetables, drank my milk, obeyed my Mommy and--

Wait, wrong Santa. *blush*

Okay. I had to go to my email to remember the pairings I chose, because, well, I'm forgetful like that. If you choose the first, I will love it. I'm very easy to please. A holiday theme would be awesome, but whatever plot bunny strikes you will certainly be wonderful. I love angst and tension (UST is heavenly), and absolutely adore schmoop.

Should you be doing my crossover pairing, I just have one request: No bashing of the other members of their groups. Again, the things in the above paragraph are true.

Oh! Almost forgot! P0rn is great, too. ;)

With extreme gratefulness,

Me

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 18:46:58 GMT

working on the lj layout -- got the image up and currently tweaking the colors. So, um, forgive the mess. :)

ETA: I.fucking.hate.lj.customization.

*stomps away growling*

SQUEE

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 21:53:08 GMT

*bounces*

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 03:16:28 GMT

Three things, quickly:

1 - A big hug and candy-coated kiss to ckanerock for the v-gift. It was very appreciated. ♥

2 - NaNo begins in (according to my clock) approx. 45 minutes. *has entire first chapter plotted in head, down to the shoes a certain character will be wearing, le sigh*

3 - Hope you all had a happy and safe Halloween! My kids went to the festival at church (hayrides, bonfire, roasted marshmallows and candy for all, woohoo!)

And, most importantly:

Plumsie, sorry I missed you. The kids had to stay at Nana's for a 'few more minutes' and the next thing I knew it was after 10:30. I'll definitely be on tomorrow. *smooches* ♥

TrickC Day?

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:13:19 GMT

duoshinigami reminded me last night (at freaking 11PM *glares at DS*) that today is TrickC day. She gave me a sneak peek of her awesome fanart for today, so I was inspired:

Note: The only time I've written JC, it was a blurb featuring love slave-ness, a blown up car and a teensy bit of oral sex. The only time I've written Chris, it was the ficlet I did for Choey day, which featured no sex, only friendly support and encouragement. So, yeah, blame DS for this. *smiles* Also, in my opinion, it really

~~

Warm fingers slid over his moist skin, sending shivers down his spine and bringing soft moans to his lips. Callused palms cupped his cheeks, drawing his body closer as they both trembled from the recent passion. Lips parted, he leaned in for the kiss, arms akimbo and feeling boneless. The warmth between them in that moment outdid the heat coming from the fireplace, and in this moment, all he wanted was to be right there.

Chris' eyes fluttered open, lips curving into a smile of adoration that sent an electric bolt through JC's chest. He knew it would always be thus; the man's eyes portrayed his love better than his lips ever could. All he had to do was meet his gaze and JC knew that things were going to be alright.

Bwahahahaaha

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:23:06 GMT

Katie (my 3 year old daughter) got a balloon at the church's Halloween Party/Fall Festival the other night. The helium has since died, and she's still toting it around. She has it wrapped in her hooded towel and is calling it her baby. *snorts* She wanted me to remove the string so it'd have a 'belly bean like me', so I did so, but in order to get it off I had to take the towel off and she screamed, "MOMMY! THE BABY NAKED NOW!"

*five minutes later*

Katie just informed me that she wants me to make another baby. *blinks*

...

Hahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha NO

In other news, the first practice went well Friday. We basically listened to the song a few times and everyone got to provide input on how they'd like to arrange it. At the moment it's looking as though one of the male altos will be doing lead vocals with me, thank God. The music director had us go through it once, and the only way I could actually sing was to sit down and close my eyes. Everyone in the church is so encouraging, though, and even when I know I've messed up they focus on the positive. Awesome. :)

♥

A spammer's life for me

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 03:08:49 GMT

Last post tonight, I swear.

Okay, for some reason this just hit me, and I'm jotting it down here for posterity ~~so I can laugh hysterically at myself later~~ in case I want to turn it into that 'behind the scenes' ficlet that ckanerock is ~~forcing~~ enticing me to write...

Picture a rinky-dink honky-tonk bar in a rural area at sunset. Gravel parking lot, several trucks, a few motorcycles, maybe a couple cars. Open door to the bar; you see the place is filled with men (okay, a few women too), and then sweeping into the bar you vaguely see familiar faces -- is that AJ bartending? Yes, it is. And there's Brian sitting on the small stage in the corner, strumming on a battered guitar. You see Nick by the pool table (looking dangerously sexy in tight jeans and a leather jacket...*mind wanders*), but hey, look who's walking in now! It's Howie, complete with a morose expression and a 'don't-fuck-with-me-right-now' attitude. The bar goes silent; you could hear a mouse doing a soft-shoe dance across a cotton ball right now.

He sidles up to the bar, claims a barstool and motions to AJ, who heads over with a sympathetic look and a glass. As he pours, he looks to you, silently telling you to listen to Howie, who obviously tells his tale every night.

You move to sit next to Howie (just knock that skanky little bimbo out of the way, she's probably too young to be in the bar anyway. That's right, girl, go do your homework or something.) and can't help but notice how scrumptious he is in his country wear. (Who knew how sexy Howie was in a cowboy hat?) But you lend a sympathetic ear to his story, and the forlorn look in his eyes makes your heart clench with pain. You reach to comfort him, but he pulls away.

You decide to go scope out the pool table, hoping it'll be a bit more lively over there. Nick's smiling, but he's singing along with Brian, and the man emotes too much to pay attention to the game. You decide he's a lost cause, because, obviously, the man's got a few screws loose (is he really singing into the pool cue?), and it's time to move on. Maybe Brian will start singing something lively.

Hold up, AJ's singing behind the bar, and his voice draws you to him (or maybe it's that sexy way his white t-shirt clings to his biceps. Either or.). You linger near the bar, nodding your head in time to the beat of the music, and a stranger murmurs to you that AJ and Howie were caught up in the same chick and she breezed them both for Nick and Brian. But Brian wasn't interested because he's too wrapped up in his singing and that little puppy farm he's got going on the edge of town, and obviously Nick's got issues, so she breezed them for some tall dark handsome guy. Rumor has it his name was Kevin, and they rode off on his motorcycle in search of a simpler life. (Hey, it's late. Did you want intricate plot with four different women? Please.)

AJ's emoting behind the bar, glaring at himself in the mirror, and just when you think he's going to start throwing bottles you see that little bimbo pushing up on Howie, and then Brian's there, pulling her away, because he's the mediator when Howie's depressed. Brian's cracking a few jokes and sending her on her way, thank God, and you don't miss the loving look that passes between him and Howie when he orders a round for his friends.

Nick's thrown the pool cue down and come up to the bar, still singing the song Brian started earlier. AJ's pouring drinks and singing so hard that the vein on his neck is visible, and you're pushed away from the bar somehow. You decide to leave, and when you look back everyone but the four men have disappeared. They're sitting in front of the bar, and you hear AJ say,

"Love is what the trouble is..."

The End

It's official. I'm fucking nuts. *rushes off to get sleep with images of Boys in cowboy hats dancing in her head* ♥♥♥♥

Oh.My.God.

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:15:44 GMT

Quick explanation : My kids have been going to AWANA for the past month or so, at a local Baptist church that I went to a few times (they went to Bible School there as well). It's every Wednesday night, and we just got back (Kevin wanted to listen to the choir practice).

I had my mp3 player, and I was sitting in the foyer-type area listening to Brian's solo stuff and was singing along without realizing it (to 'Wish', my second-favorite song on the cd). Lo and behold, the head music man had the CD, and he came out to talk to me about it. So we chatted a while, and then the next thing I know he's asking me to come in and sing 'Wish' for the choir, because they've been wanting to do a performance of it.

To make an exceedingly long story short, I've been asked to sing. In the big Baptist church. Next month. With a choir behind me. And tons of people in front of me. And they record all of their services. I'm kind of bouncing between ohmygodtheylikemyvoice!!! and Ican'tsingforcrapwhyme?! at the moment.

I go back Friday afternoon for a solo practice.

*frets endlessly*

Happy Time!

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 15:59:01 GMT

Gacked from turloughishere and turps33

The rules are easy, just post 6-12 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 6 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs. Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in awhile.

1. Talking/writing with my Plumsie.

2. New.Backstreet.Music. *fangirl squee*

3. Kevin learned his Bible verse for church.

4. Captain Jack (our new kitten, not the character) curled up in bed with me last night and stayed in the same spot all night. (Okay, the character doing that would be awesome too)

5. I actually wrote slash today! (my previous entry, yo)

6. Hearing a DJ on the radio saying how much he loved the Boys music.

7. ckanerock helping me out.

8. DS squee-ing when I popped up on AIM the other day.

I tag you and you and you and yes, you too! Go on, do it! :)

A fic

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 15:07:45 GMT

This is for ckanerock, but everyone else can read it too. Yes, Cin, I know you said to just throw myself into my NaNo, but I had to give you this little pittance as a way of saying thank you. You know why. :)

Feel the Rain

There was something about being outside during the rain that always calmed him. Perhaps it was the cool droplets running down his body, soaking his clothes, or perhaps the feeling that everything was washing away. Closing his eyes, he could feel the tension of the past days slowly leaving his body in the rivulets of rain that dripped from his cheeks.

I can't do this.

Feeling the warmth of his tears, he was unashamed, knowing that no one could see him. Part of him, the selfish part, wished the one he was crying over could see what he had been reduced to. He had always thought he was the strong one; one that would never feel the sting of rejection. But he knew that this rejection was unlike any other.

Leaning against the fencepost, he heard the reassuring sounds of hooves upon the ground. Opening his eyes, he saw the troubled stallion was prancing through the rain. Head held high and tail blowing in the wind, the horse seemed happy for the first time since being brought to the ranch. The other horses were crowded in the lean-to near the stable, and he knew they thought it beneath them to let a summer shower ruin their pristine coats.

Brian knew how the stallion felt. He understood the need to run through the rain without worries. In that moment he realized the seemingly wild beast was a kindred spirit, and without thought he heaved his body over the fence, his boots squishing in the moist ground of the pasture. Removing his hat, he let it hang on the nearby fencepost, not hearing the approaching thunder as the stallion came to a stop several yards away.

Heedless of his training, he approached the horse without preamble, keeping his eyes trained on those of the stallion. When he was within reach he stopped, his body motionless as the horse regarded him cautiously.

* * *

Alex held his breath as Brian and the stallion stared each other down. One hand on the rifle kept by the door, he was ready to run to Brian's aid, knowing the man was being foolish. Had he driven him to this?

Pushing the screen door open, he stepped out onto the porch, heart hammering in his chest as Brian moved closer. The horse looked ready to bolt at any second, and even from the distance Alex could see the terror in its stance. His feet were propelling him down the steps and across the yard, his teeth biting down onto his tongue to keep him from shouting at Brian.

But the horse suddenly relaxed, lowering his regal head in submission. Alex was astounded when Brian was allowed to move closer, gentle hands slicking down the wet neck, lips moving to form reassuring words. Steps faltering, Alex could only stare as Brian swung himself up onto the stallion's back, remembering all too well the feel of those powerful thighs around his waist.

He could only watch in amazement as man and horse turned and, hooves thundering, went towards the horizon. Leaving him behind.

~ end ~

Being a good fangirl is not easy

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:52:07 GMT

I'm trying so hard to refrain from downloading the songs. I honestly am. I want to wait until Tuesday and be surprised when I have that first listen. I want to have that hour or so when I sit in my car in the parking lot just listening to the music being blown away, as I was with all previous albums.

Alas, everyone's squee-ing and so excited and just.just.*whine*

I've started d/ling Unsuspecting Sunday Afternoon now. *stern look* I have twenty-four minutes left in my download (dial-up, remember?) to change my mind and become a good fangirl once again, but I don't see that happening. Not with bubbleforest's excited album squee.

ETA Does anyone on my wonderful f-list happen to have all songs uploaded individually? (Yes, I caved. It took all of three minutes)

insert nifty subject line here

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 13:12:45 GMT

1. Nags Head, NC, bay-bee. Spent a week there with the kids, mom, my aunt & uncle and a family friend, and a grand time was had by all. Got back last week.

2. Kids decided to contract explosive diarrhea while at the beach, which means the last week of my life has been spent up to my ears in dirty underwear and whines of stomachs hurting.

3. Kevin'll be going back to school tomorrow (good lord willing and the creek don't rise), and he has over two.hundred.seashells to share with his classmates. He also has a bag of sand, a photo album of beach pictures, a clump of seaweed, a neat piece of driftwood and some sea oats that he collected. I've made him promise not to share his diarrhea experience, however.

4. SugarPlum, I received your package, and I love it immensely. I feel so bad for not getting in touch with you, but I will be emailing you later today. If Ya-Whore will let me log in, that is. *endless hugs and kisses* I ♥ you

5. I have lost an astonishing thirty pounds over the summer. Woot!

6. Less than two weeks till the Boys' album. And I'm so damned tempted to go listen to all the clips of songs, but, no. I want to be surprised and experience them all firsthand in my car in the mall parking lot after buying the CD, thankyouverymuch.

7. When I got home from the doctor yesterday, there was a teensy black kitten hiding under the old trailer in our yard (the trailer belonged to my great-grandfather, he lived in it after his wife died, and now it's a combination bird nest magnet/junk place). Kitten has been 'rescued', fed, watered, spoiled rotten in less than 24 hours, and my son has named him 'Captain Jack' *smirk*

8. A tip: When your children are suffering from upset stomachs and you've just realized they have no clean underwear in the house, there is nothing wrong with fashioning a makeshift garment out of a gallon-sized ziploc bag and letting them play in the bathtub. Nothing at all. (Except, of course, when the ziploc explodes *shudders*)

9. Since I've been MIA for a while, if any pictures, stories or news have occurred in the past couple of weeks, please drop me a link here. *bats eyelashes hopefully*

10. Captain Jack has barricaded himself under my bed and, to quote my son, has "barfed grass in your shoes, Momma" *forced smile* The little ~~shithead~~ darling

*smooches*

A Quickie That's Not So Quick

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 02:18:29 GMT

Kevin started school today. He's four years old, and there's a program in the state called HeadStart (it may be other places, I don't know), and it's kind of like pre-kindergarten. They don't do the typical coloring sheets and writing of letters and whatnot. The parents had an orientation week before last, and they gave us a sample of a day's curriculum. A child wants to sort colors? Open a bag of m&ms and give him/her several bowls. Basically, it's learning through play. And, despite his misgivings when I dropped him off this morning (*cough* he bit the teacher's assistant on the hand when I was leaving*cough*) and the fact his Nana (my mom) has said loudly all summer long that she doesn't want him to go, when I picked him up this afternoon he was brimming with details of his day. His new best friend? A boy named Isaiah, who is perhaps one of the most gorgeous little mulatto child I have ever seen. I was proud of him, because his teacher said that he went to the potty throughout the day whenever the need hit, he took a nap after lunch, and he was inquisitive and played very well with the others. I did have misgivings about the playing well with others part, considering that all he's ever had to play with was his sister and once a month or so his cousins (they're all way older, though). All in all, a good day for him. He was so exhausted he went to bed straight after he had his bath, and didn't even stay up to catch Home Improvement and he loves that show. I did get a picture of him this morning before we left for school, but I'll post that tomorrow.

And *mini squee* I heard the Boys on the radio after dropping Kevin off at school. The radio station was doing a Backstreet marathon, and they started with Inconsolable and played back -- Incomplete, Drowning, The Call, Show Me the Meaning, I Want It That Way, Backstreet's Back, I'll Never Break Your Heart and, finally, As Long As You Love Me. Who rode around for the entire marathon so she couldn't miss a song? *raises hand* Who cranked the volume so Katie could dance in her car seat? *raises hand higher* Who had her father-in-law looking at her like she was crazy for circling his side yard four times so ALAYLM could finish? *waves hands crazily* Who is starting to get her squee back over her Boys? *jumps up and down*

Also? me_and_thee gave me a great idea for a new fic, ~~damnit~~ yay!

meh

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 00:20:42 GMT

I have a headache the size of Texas, and am very tempted to dig out the percoset we have in the medicine chest so I'll be able to sleep...

My slash muse has died. Honestly. I can't even drum up enough inspiration for a drabble. I pulled up all the slashfic25 things I'd started, but... Bleah.

And I may sound like a horrible fan, but I can't seem to get excited over the new Backstreet stuff. Yes, the pictures are nice. And the songs are great, but... I don't know.

Eh, I'm off. I'll update soon when I actually have something good to say.

Nick Carter's Mother in the Doghouse

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 02:43:43 GMT

Nick Carter's Mother in the Doghouse

The fragile reconciliation between Backstreet Boy Nick Carter and his mother Jane is definitely off, after Jane dumped Nick's dog Layla at a North Tampa animal shelter earlier this week -- without Nick's knowledge or permission. Doggin'!

Nick asked his mother to babysit for pit bull mix Layla, while he geared up for his upcoming reunion tour with Backstreet Boys. He was even paying her for the dog's upkeep, but apparently, Jane had no interest in holding up her end of the bargain.

Ranelle Black, who rescued the pit bull from an L.A. County animal shelter and let Nick adopt the pup in March 2006, said she received a call from the Florida shelter on Monday, after volunteers identified Layla via microchip implant. Black, who volunteers with L.A. Animal Services and regularly fosters pit bulls, had Layla implanted with the chip to track her whereabouts.
"I called Nick and he had no idea that his mother had dumped Layla. He was very choked up," said Black, who noted that Carter spent more than $7,000 to train the precocious pup.

Said Carter's publicist, Juliette Harris, "Nick is devastated and frustrated, and is doing everything he can to get Layla safely back."

Because there's a pit bull ban on commercial airlines, Nick is going to either "charter a plane to fly her back, or fly dog handlers out to bring her back to him," said Harris. Ain't that a bitch?!

*sigh* And I was hoping, after seeing the title in an email, that someone had thrown her ass in the pound... Why oh why does this not surprise me, though?