Current mood:	accomplished
Entry tags:	aj/justin, my fiction, slash, timberbone

*gasp* I wrote!
And I even wrote *double gasp* some slash!

Title:Touch the Sky (tentative title, may change. But I think I like that...)
Paring: AJ/Justin (TimberBone!)
Summary: Wherein AJ's not a recovering alcoholic (because it's easier on me that way), Justin's an egotistical ass (at first), AJ is heartbroken and in need of love and maybe, just maybe, Justin may be the one to give him what he needs. Maybe.
Rating: Eh... I'll go PG-13 now
Feedback: Is love
Dedication: To duoshinigami for giving me the kick in the ass I needed to realize that, perhaps, in the deepest recesses, AJ and Justin may be my new OTP.



Chapter One

Only from the heart can you touch the sky. ~ Jalaluddin Rumi

With a weary sigh, AJ McLean pulled the framed photo of Brian closer to him. He could recite every detail of the picture; Brian standing on a hotel balcony – in Tokyo – looking out at the view. He was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a green t-shirt, his hair ruffling in the breeze, grinning with excitement. AJ could point out the laugh lines, the flared nostrils, the orange sign in the background that warned of construction. He could murmur with true appreciation the words scrawled at the bottom – Only you can make me this happy. Always, Brian – could even, if asked, produce the blue Sharpie Brian had used to sign it.

He could rattle off the price of the frame – twelve dollars and seventy-three cents with tax at the Wal-Mart in some middle-of-nowhere town in Virginia, where he had threatened the bus driver bodily harm if they didn't stop so he could buy a frame.

He could remember how Brian would always laugh at the picture when they dressed in the morning – all this, and so much more. He could remember everything about their six years together as a couple, and most of the details from their first meeting thirteen years previous.

But, for the life of him, he couldn't remember where things had gone wrong.

Fighting tears, he closed his eyes, dropping the photo in the box at his feet. It joined the others, along with tiny mementos of their love.

"I can't do this anymore, Aje…"

He had never realized how much he wanted – needed – Brian by his side until he was gone. Gone – all because the love of his life had an image to uphold. Or so he said. He couldn't help but wonder if he had done or said something wrong, had not made love enough, had made love too much. Had he not reciprocated the love Brian had given him? Or had he loved, needed, depended too much in his naïve belief that they would always be together?

Brian had given up so much to be with him. Would it have been different if he himself had changed?

Would he spend the rest of his life wondering: what if?

The house held too many memories for him. The sheets on the bed still smelled of Brian. The hangers in the closet still seemed to sway from the swift removal of his clothes. The bathroom counter was still dusted with the powder Brian always put inside his boxers. The kitchen sink still held his favorite mug, the dregs of his last coffee still clinging to the bottom. The sofa in the living room still had the impression of his backside. There, by the front door, the stack of mail waiting for him.

As though Brian would ever set foot in the house again. But it seemed as though he would return any moment.

Clenching his eyes shut, AJ yanked the keys off the table by the door, slamming the door shut behind him as he drew in several breaths. Blinking in the bright sunlight, he brought a cigarette to his lips, knowing he couldn't return home until his heart could stand it.

---

The pounding music of the nightclub soothed him. He was in his element here, among a throng of people who could care less who he was or why he was even there. Leaning back against the plush leather seat of the corner booth, he sipped his drink, dark cocoa eyes scanning the upper lounge for anyone he knew. Of course, it was rather early, he decided, grateful that he wasn't being bothered. The music and flashing lights were keeping him from his depressing thoughts, and the drink in his hand was slowly bringing him to a delightful buzz.

"Well, well, if it isn't McLean."

Jerking his head up, AJ was surprised to see Justin Timberlake sliding in across from him. He had seen him earlier – being led onto the dance floor by a more than willing woman – but hadn't spoken to him. Murmuring a greeting, he flicked his tongue over his lips, following the trail of perspiration that disappeared beneath the open collar of the man's shirt. Shaking his head slightly to rid himself of those thoughts, he took a hasty gulp of his drink, waving towards the passing waitress to bring more.

"What brings you here?"

"Just thought a change in scenery would do me good," AJ replied with a shrug.

"Those are good, sometimes." Justin was lightly drumming his fingers on the table, drawing AJ's attention to the length of those fingers. In the growing haze of his mind, he pictured those fingers on his body—

"I hear your next CD is coming out soon," he said after a moment, reaching for his cigarettes as Justin nodded. "I like your style, Kid."

"Everybody likes my style."

"Not everybody," AJ disagreed, remembering Nick's vicious remarks after Justin's first album had hit the stores.

"Whoever doesn’t can kiss my ass. If they have the stamina to wait in line." A self-satisfied smirk touched Justin's lips.

"That's gotta suck, having your ass kissed all the time. Don't you ever get tired of being bent over all the time?" AJ asked, his nose wrinkling when he realized the waitress had brought him water instead of what he had ordered. Realizing it would be better to take things slow, he took a sip.

"Only when there's not someone bent over in front of me to throw my dick into," Justin commented, easily stretching. "I heard Brian's getting married in a few months…"

AJ snapped his head up at the last remark, his eyes narrowing as he tried to ascertain whether or not Justin was trying to entice him into saying something he would later regret. He saw no ulterior motive in the sparkling blue eyes, though, and simply shrugged. "Yeah."

"Aren't you two real close? Or, used to be? Hell, I can count on one hand the times I've been to some event and one of you was there alone… I used to think you two were secret lovers or something," Justin snorted with a laugh, wrapping his fingers around the beer the waitress had brought. Seeing AJ's eyes darken, almost imperceptibly, he realized he was stepping into uncharted territory and decided to back out. "But fuck him, right? C'mon, let's get out of here and have some fun—"

"What, God help me, do you consider having some fun?" AJ interrupted, not sure he wanted to even be talking to the man. He couldn't believe he was actually considering leaving with him.

"Trust me, you'll enjoy it."


*sits back* *frets*